Knock on Wood
by Drive all night
Summary: A Burzek One-shot...Adam returns from his UC assignment.
1. Knock On Wood

Finally the lights of his hometown loomed into view. He blinked a few times, trying to get some moisture into his dry eyes and he rolled his shoulders. Cracking the window the chill January air made him shiver a little. He'd missed this place; he'd missed a lot of things.

Going away was supposed to clear his head and to some degree it had. It went in a direction he wasn't expecting but if his aim was to figure out what he wanted he'd at least achieved that.

It wasn't until the city was almost touchable that reality hit. He had no home. The plan did not include arriving at 1am but he had been released earlier than expected and felt the overwhelming urge to feel Chicago on his skin again.

Pulling up outside his old building was strange. He'd left in a hurry, barely packing his stuff in time. It had good memories this place and it also was a place he'd felt he needed to move on from. New life, that's what this was. He could see a light in the fourth window across on the third floor, his old place and obviously someone had already taken a lease. Life had moved on and he needed to as well.

Perhaps he could crash at Atwater's? It would make the most sense but he didn't want to be sensible. Being sensible and rational had got him nowhere. Worrying about not upsetting other people meant that he was alone. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He'd just spent six weeks alone.

It took him a good few minutes to actually knock. Softly, almost hoping that it wasn't heard and then he could say he tried. He was so close to leaving when he could hear someone moving around inside. His heart, his barely mended heart was in his throat.

He'd been here before; it had worked out well for him then. Now all he hoped for was that the door didn't slam shut in his face. That would a good start.

By the look on her face, along with the gun in her hand told him he was the last person she expected to see. "You are not going to shoot me are you?"

"Adam?" The adrenaline had already got her heart racing, seeing him standing there she actually clutched her chest fearing it would stop all together. Suddenly she flung herself into his arms and he staggered a little with the force of her body slamming into his. "I was worried about you."

"Sorry."

"You left without a word." Prising herself off him she pulled him inside her apartment. Fearing that one of her nosy neighbours would soon be making an appearance.

"I had too."

She moved away from him suddenly conscious of the fact she was wearing just her pyjamas. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't have anywhere to go." Aware of the awkwardness that his unexpected re-appearance had caused. "I can go." He turned towards the door. "I just wanted to let you know I was okay. I thought you'd care?" That came out a little harsher than he hoped.

Kim nervously reached out and grabbed his hand. "Stay. It's okay Adam. I was worried. I'll make up the couch."

Adam watched as she organised a makeshift bed for him and she saw him cringe a little at the pink sheets. They were the sheets she had for Zoe when she stayed. They were girly. "Do not say anything." She waggled a finger in his direction. "Or you will be sleeping in your car."

Adam chuckled. "Okay, I wont' say anything." He eased himself into the chair, feeling weary from his long trip. "How's Intelligence treating you?"

"It's kicking my ass, as is Al."

"That's what Al does. Is it what you expected?"

"Yeah, except for the fact that you weren't there to help me. I was disappointed, you've always supported me." Kim was shaking a pillow into a hideously pink case.

"That's what I was doing. I didn't want things to be awkward for you while you settled in and I didn't think I could see you everyday so I left. For you, I left for you so that you could realise your dream." He was drawing a circle the arm of the chair and doing anything to avoid eye contact. "I didn't want to ruin it for you."

Kim didn't expect that. Finding out that Adam had taken an Undercover Gig to get away from her made her think that it was because he didn't want her in Intelligence and she was determined to prove him wrong, that she was cut out for this. Al, she didn't expect that but they had worked into a better place. She knew she'd stuffed up, Al's badge bunny comment had smacked her fair in the face but once that sting faded Kim straightened her shoulders and was determined to earn back their respect. Easier said than done. "I missed you." Unsure of what he wanted to hear she just blurted it out.

After watching her nervously fuss over the couch he reached out and grabbed her hand, running his thumb back and forward across her knuckles. "Me too."

"Do you want a drink or something?"

"A beer, do you have a beer?"

They sat together on the couch and chatted about her first few weeks in Intelligence, her impression of Rixton and a little bit about his case. He was surprised to hear about his replacement, he didn't expect that. Lindsay had been gone for weeks and wasn't replaced but his seat was barely cold and they had moved someone else in.

Despite his exhaustion the knowledge that she was sleeping just a few feet away, in a bed that they had spent many a passionate night in made him restless and he tossed and turned for an hour before finally drifting off.

He woke with a start and was surprised to see Kim sitting on the table watching him. Her knees bouncing nervously and her hands clasped tightly in her lap. "Are you okay?"

"Adam…. I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I'm pregnant."


	2. How Did We Get Here

**A/N: I realised it was probably a bit rude to leave this story where I did, but I wasn't sure I had the answers. Hopefully you like this….**

He sat in the corner of the room; it was dark and quiet. Outside the room was a quite buzz but he didn't hear it. The only thing he could hear was his heart beating. It wasn't in his chest though; it was in his arms and it was never going to be in his chest again.

She opened her eyes, small dark little orbs staring back at him. Pure innocence; a blank canvas ready for him to show her the world. His daughter. How the hell did they get here?

It wasn't an easy road that's for sure. It had bumps and twists and turns and one massive sinkhole but here they were. Oh no, getting here was hard. The hardest thing he had ever done. Well until they put this baby in his arms and then he realised being a father to a little girl was just about the toughest job in the world.

At least he wasn't alone.

 _"Adam, I need to tell you something…..I'm pregnant."_ That had left him speechless. Literally, he sat in stunned silence for a good few minutes and said nothing. He would love to say that was because he was thinking but that was a lie, not one single thought entered his head.

It was the very definition of awkward. Eventually she stood up and walked out of the room, back into her bedroom and lay on the bed. The tears were silent but they were real, she knew that because she had shed them every single night.

He had no idea how long he stood at the door at watched her crying. "That night?" he asked quietly, still watching her from a distance.

"Yes."

That night, well that was intense. It had been a rough couple of days and she wanted to talk to him about Olinsky. Kim knew that Al had ridden Adam hard in the start and she needed reassurance that it would get better. Asking for that reassurance from him of all people wasn't her wisest move but despite everything that had happened, he still believed in her as a cop. That was never in doubt. As a person, she wasn't sure.

When she burst into tears he had wrapped his arms around her and how they got from that to his bedroom neither of them knew. It was sweet, comforting and so perfectly loving. He had laid his fingers on her lips when she wanted to ask if this was a good idea. "Just feel." He whispered against her neck.

Leaning one hand on the door he had kissed her softly, his fingers tangled in her hair before she left. They had talked about nothing but loved each other deeply. "Goodbye."

She didn't know he was saying that kind of Goodbye because the next she knew he was gone, apparently undercover and his place was cleaned out. She'd told Platt that she'd been by the check and that wasn't a lie however she did omit the part where she sat in the middle of his empty apartment and cried like a baby.

The baby cried in his arms and he lifted her up and laid her against his chest, her small dark head tucked under his chin. "Lily Ann Ruzek" he breathed her in, that sweet baby smell that he had never experienced before but now couldn't get enough of. "Daddy loves you."

"She loves you too."

"I still can't believe she's here."

"Well she feels real. It certainly feels like I've pushed her out of my body."

The bumps were tough to handle. They had to get this right because it wasn't about just them in anymore. Communication wasn't what they were good at and they had to work on that before they could even contemplate doing this and it was never a choice, they never discussed not doing this. They were having a baby and they were going to do it together, it was the path they took that was up for discussion.

He wasn't letting them go, not again but that didn't mean they were ready to jump to the end. They didn't live together at first and set no timeframe for that to happen. If it was before the baby arrived that would be great, if it wasn't then so be it.

Nor did they find out what they were having. "It is what it is, we can't do anything about that so let's just enjoy the mystery." That surprised Kim, Adam wasn't the most patient person she'd ever met.

Kim was seven months pregnant when she was lying in bed, feeling their baby doing what felt like somersaults in her stomach when she heard Adam come in. He always bought her breakfast on a Saturday if he wasn't at work.

Leaning on the bed he kissed her sweetly before bending down and pressing his lips to her belly, letting them linger. "Wow." He pulled back a little and smiled. "Good Morning little one."

"We were just talking about you."

"Yeah." Adam stretched out on the bed and rested his cheek on that beautiful belly. "Have you been good?" He feathered kisses over her stomach. "Daddy missed you."

"Are you staying today?" Not only was he loving feeling the skin of her stomach on his cheek it was also her hand playing with his hair which was a little longer than usual.

"All day Darlin'."

"And tonight?" It wasn't just the baby that missed him.

"If you want me too."

He didn't leave for a week. Well, they went to work but he stayed every night. Crawling into bed late most nights, slipping an arm around her expanding waist and loved every minute of it. It felt like the right time to start sharing everyday of this pregnancy with him even if he barely knew what was about to explode in his face.

"Do you think this place is too small for us and the baby?" It was a little out of the blue considering twenty minutes earlier she was yelling at him leaving toothpaste all over the sink.

"A little. After that…" he pointed to the bathroom but was smiling, because that's what he did. "..I think I need my own bathroom."

"Is that why you are leaving?"

"No, I am leaving because I haven't been home in a week and I need some more clothes."

"Don't."

"Don't what?" It was wise to ask.

"Go home. Stay here. I don't want you to go." Okay, the tears were a surprise.

He loved the way her head tucked under his chin just perfectly. "Oh Darlin'. I'll be back soon."

"I want to live with you."

"Okay." There was no hesitation.

Adam eased himself up out of the rocking chair, Lily still enveloped in his protective arms. She fitted, she belonged and he was never letting her go.

Two women, one of cuddled into his neck, small, helpless and with a powerful grip on his heart and the other beautiful, selfless and his rock, the only person who understood his heart. His heart lived outside his body for these two.

"I love you too."


End file.
